Grasping for the Wind

An Ideal Wife

No doubt about it. I am scum. I don't just mean in the Biblical sense that we are all rotten to the core without saving grace (a thing of head knowledge and theology but not often made personal), but that I am scum in the most basic primeval, rotten, horrible sense.

I have betrayed my wife.

Not in the sense you are thinking, nothing like the sexual sins that are going through your mind at this moment. (Although being a guy, lust IS my constant companion whether I will it or no.) No I have betrayed her by wishing she was something she is not.

You're probably thinking, "That's not so terrible." Oh, but it is. It is how it begins, that insiduious little thought in your head that perhaps your spouse isn't always what you thought you wanted, the he/she doesn't quie fit the mental list you always had in your head of the ideal spouse.

The post you see beneath (entitled "A Gripe") this one is the most blatant (and public) proof of my betrayal. Rather than being supportive, a good husband, a helpful husband who holds fast to his vows, I betray her by griping to the world that I hate her for who she is. Or, at least, that I am unsatisfied with who she is.

So this is my public apology and confession. I should never have posted, or used the time in question to undermine my gracious wife. I will leave the post in draft form, as a reminder to myself of how dissatisfied I can become for as long as it remains.

My wife is the Proverbs 31 wife. She is:

The Woman Who Fears the LORD

10[d] An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17She dresses herself[e] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[f]
22She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
30Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
PROVERBS 31 (ESV)

The emphasis are mine, to show in what areas I have most betrayed her. For I hated her for these very things for which the Lord calls her blessed.

Therefore, I am scum, and she is the ideal (and godly) wife.

Posted by John on March 24, 2006 11:08 AM | Posted to Personal Journal
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