Grasping for the Wind

Good questions, Otter. (Do people still call you that or is it your first name only? Or is it your blog-name? Just wondering...)

I think the answer (or an answer) lies in the willingness to be humble enough not to assume we know THE ONE WAY to do the 'loving the sinner yadda yadda' thing. I was reading the Gospels last month and they're chock full of stories of how Christ hated sin (and mourned over it, and was willing to war and fuss over it [remember the 'My house is a house of prayer' episode directly after the Triumphal Entry]), but loved sinners a-plenty.

He called his disciples to come follow him and abandon their self-centered lives. He told Zaccaeus to stop stealing. He told Mary Magdalene to give it up, too. He rebuked sinners and demons and hardhearted pharisees who loved the law more than anything else. But he was the judge who always managed to act justly and to love mercy. We are not.

It's a tightrope walk. Go too far one way or the other and it's a failure. But we have to try. Pray and seek his face and trust the Scriptures and the Counselor Who abides in you to teach you the way to go.

And, I say, don't abandon your homosexual friends. Let them know some of what they do is wrong and makes you uncomfortable, but don't abandon them. (Cause you enjoy their company, right? They are fun and witty and kind and whatever else it is about friends we like, right?) The reason I say don't abandon them is because so many Christian People and Christian Organizations and Christian Politicians abandon them and shame them. You keep walking with them and loving and befriending them and forgiving them. They need to see that core of tenacious loving friendship in someone besides their nonjudgemental fellow homosexuals.

Sorry about the wordiness and over-simplification. I still contend the answer is more in the living than in the talking about the answer.

Amen.
PS only old friends call me Otter anymore. To them it is who I will always be. Everybody else calls me John. Keep calling me that, I always enjoy it.

I just recently had a conversation on this with some fellow Covenant grads. For the first time in my life, I am in contact with homosexuals and have discovered something: they are not any different than any other person who needs Christ (including me). I think we can thank the fundamentalist evangelicals for blowing the homosexual issue out of proportion, treating it as if it were an especially horrible sin. I mean, why don't we legislate ruptured relations with parents or gossip?

Also, telling anyone that their lifestyle is sinful is somewhat counterproductive in this post-modern world. They won't believe in sin until they believe in Righteousness.

Jesus didn't take away the woman at the well's empty jar; rather he offered her living water. She dropped what she had in order to embrace the truth, who was Jesus.

First of all, I would be happy to make sure you get a Thorn. Feel free to send your address to me via e-mail (the above link is my address, not my blog).

Also, while I completely agree with what Funke said, I would also like to add this for you to chew on. I have several close friends who are Christians and struggle with homosexuality. This can be overwhelming at times because while it is no different then any other sin in God's eyes, and while we all struggle with our own temptations, this struggle is so highlighted by society that it makes it a huge elephant in the room. What helps me with this is concentrating on the person before me, why they are my friend, not worrying about the "issue" but also not being afraid to talk about it when it comes up. Be gracious but blunt (ie, don't hedge the truth), and make sure you're true feelings of friendship are always in the forefront. While anyone who is dealing with something less atypical in society (be it illness, stereotyping, prejudice or whatever) want it to be acknowledged by the people close to them (because it is part of who they are) being treated like a person first (instead of a curiosity) is always the most important. It's should be obvious, but I have to remind myself of this all the time.

Otter, thanks for posting that. In the book "What's so amazing about grace?" Yancey describes his friendship with a Christian who came out as a practicing homosexual. Yancey has maintained a close friendship with the man, and is one of the few people who did. The really sad part was all the awful things that Christians said and wrote to the homosexual guy--things that Jesus never would have said to a person.

Funke's comment that they won't believe in sin until they believe in Righteousness is really good. A year or so ago a junior high non-believing girl was visiting our church Wednesday nights, and some people were really concerned about the way she was dressing, and felt that she ought to be told it was immodest, but someone else pointed out that modesty vs. immodesty isn't a discussion she'd understand apart from Jesus and the new heart, life, and perspective following him brings.

If we are followers of Jesus, we must follow him in befriending sinners. He was a friend of sinners, enjoyed hanging out with them, and regarded them with the dignity they deserve as people made in God's image. Keep up your friendship, and hopefully through much love, prayer, and conversation, the Spirit will draw them to Jesus. I'll be praying for you, Otter.

I think we have to be careful about saying that Jesus "enjoyed" hanging out with sinners. He ministered to the sinners because they needed Him like a sick person needs a doctor. God does not "enjoy" sin, and it saddens Him when those He created participate in sinful actions.

Christ also knew the hearts of men, and went where He knew he would be most effective. The Pharisees were sinners, yet Jesus clearly did not "enjoy" their presence. He instead went among the masses that would be most receptive to His message.

It is also important that we defing love in a biblical sense. Godly love, agape, is acting in ways that will ensure the apiritual well-being of another's soul. This can often put us at odds with the brotherly love, phileo, that we feel for our wordly friends. I'm not saying we can't have both, but how many times have you held back saying something to a "lost" friend because you didn't want to damage the relationship? It's something we all do, yet it is selfish and not what Jesus would do.

In dealing with the issue of "hating sin, but not the sinner," it really boils down to the way we approach someone with the gospel message. Antagonistic preaching is not biblical. Christ and the apostles reserved their most blunt teaching for those of the faith who should already know better, but they were never confrontational and they always responded with love and forgiveness when the sinner repented.

Funke's point is spot on. Start with the milk, the message of salvation, then move on to the meat.

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